Friends,

This is my first blog post for the HomeSchool FlipHouse brand. The brand has been in the works since June of 2020, and I finally felt comfortable enough to make the announcement about it just a few days ago, on December 10th. It wasn’t planned. I just woke up and decided to make the announcement that day.

This morning, December 13th, 2020, as I began the process of publishing this post —- which I pre-wrote back in October and titled, “Homeschooling in Nazareth” —- I realized that the day I announced this site was the day in Christian history that we traditionally commemorate Our Lady of Loreto. This is significant because the commemoration is actually not about Our Lady (Mary, the Mother of God), but about her childhood home: the Nazareth home!

In light of this remarkable “coincidence,” I am adding a reflection here that should be our first consideration as homeschooling mothers. First of all, we are keepers of the home, which is immensely important but is remote, under-recognized work. There is a crisis of identity for many women today when they leave a career to become a full-time mother, homemaker, and homeschooler. When I went through this identity crisis myself, the words of Michelle Benzinger on the Abiding Together podcast helped me immensely. She had taken this same identity crisis to Christ, and He responded by asking her: “Are you willing to be hidden and know that you are still good?”

So, dear mothers, December 10th each year is a special day for homemakers, who are reminded that Christian history began in a humble home with the Annunciation. We cannot underestimate the importance of the home. It is the first ministry of love. It is the school of the virtues, which are made attractive to us as we experience them in our homes’ peace and joy. 

With those introductory remarks, what follows is the original text for this post, Homeschooling in Nazareth, which I wrote back in October of 2020.

When I first thought of starting this website, I asked a Facebook group of homeschooling moms if anyone would be interested in a blog about homeschool interior design. I explained that I am a former house-flipper now flipping one last house into a dedicated homeschool space for my family, and that this would be the basis for the blog. The response was really positive. 

But some moms said that my blog would not be relatable since many of them dream of having extra space but have the reality of a multi-purpose room. They homeschool at the dining room table, for example, and transform a hutch into a homeschool command center. In an HGTV picture-perfect world, they don’t love it, but there it is.

That got me thinking about three things. 

Thanks to our consumer-oriented world, we often assume that more material (more space and more stuff) will make us happier. Actually, the data from happiness studies (yes, there is such a thing!) has found that “the perception of space is three times more important for a happy home, than actual size.” It’s what you do with what you have that counts. It’s how you experience the space. It’s whether you perceive the area as a place you can connect with another heart. Are you loved here? Are you significant here? 

Once you realize this — the experience in space, not things in a space — are primary indicators of happiness, the HGTV bling-blinders fall off and you begin to see your own possibilities right where you are. So never be discouraged — it strangles creativity and prompts that often unnecessary retail “therapy.” 

Second, all of my homeschool design and decorating ideas will have small-scale versions. And that won’t be too difficult since my 1937 flip house is small! It’s just 1,045 square feet, and the former dining room (now becoming the math and business room) is only 7′ x 10′.

But a third thought really struck me — the idea that anyone would “dream” of having any aspect of my homeschooling situation.

I live in a small, rural community in the Southeast. I grew up here (I was homeschooled here!), but I knew I never wanted to stay here. Our crime rate is higher than 98.4% of all US cities. The poverty rate of our community is 26.9%. The unemployment rate in 2019 was 11.5%. Our literacy rates are dismal, and only 15.5% of our population has a bachelor’s degree or higher. Even as a young teen, I thought it was wrong for any local church to do foreign missions because the mission field is literally right here. And it’s lonely for me; as of right now, I do not know one single other local homeschooling family.

So why am I still here?

After college, I came back for what I thought would be a brief time before graduate school. Instead, I married a farmer. Part of discerning the vocation to marry my farmer meant the willingness to stay here because farmland can’t be moved. 

Because of my frustration with this less-than-ideal environment (or so I thought), a verse in John Chapter 1 recently struck me in a new light. The context is Philip telling Nathaniel that they have found the Messiah: “Jesus of Nazareth.” Nathaniel expresses disbelief, but not at the idea of finding the long-awaited Messiah; it was the “of Nazareth” part that got him! — “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” (John 1:46) 

How many times have I given in to discouragement and thought, “What good can come from this place where I live?” But now I see it in a new light because I think: “I live in Nazareth, too!” 

In fact, in light of our increasingly pagan world, which has replaced objective truth with subjective feelings, don’t we all live in Nazareth? As Christians, we are all sojourners in a strange land.

Yet Christ is here, too, with our families, in our Nazareth, just like he was in the Holy Family. He wants to make the ultimate good — Himself — come to our Nazareths through our families. This depends profoundly on the mother because she is the heart, the atmosphere, of the home. His grace works through our nature, but we have to decide to be disposed to His grace. 

Every circumstance has trade-offs, and everything in nature can be transformed — flipped — by cooperating with grace. It takes determination and hard work. It takes the Cross.

Now I want to share with you some of what God has done for me in my Nazareth.

First, although you would think I live in an awful place for house-flipping, I successfully flipped two houses here in two years and was able to pay off all my student loans. My first flip sold during summer 2015 when a local realtor told me that only five homes had sold (over 100 were on the market). Understanding is what gave me an edge; I grew up here, I have a “feel” for the market, I have relationships with local construction workers, and I have a sense of a reasonable purchase price for our area. If you pray for the grace to see opportunities in your desert, if you work hard and seek advice when needed, you will find a launchpad.

Second, God gave me my spouse right here, and what a find he is! I remember telling my mom that I would have to leave this town if I ever hoped to get married. She said, “God parted the Red Sea and raised Lazarus from the dead, but you think he can’t send you a husband?” Shortly after that, I met David. 

David is a real man, with total integrity. He is a pillar of strength for his family. He is our provider and protector and knows his authority comes from God. He is a force for good and for Christ. And as much as he embraces work, he is dedicated to preventing workaholism that would estrange him from his children, whom he cherishes. 

David is almost 15 years older than me. Around the time we got engaged, I spent an evening sharing family photos with him. There was one of me as a young child playing in our front yard with my brothers. In the background, across the country road, was a field of cotton being picked by some farmers. My husband looked at the photo and said: “That’s me in that cotton field!” 

He was 25 in that photo; I was 10. We wouldn’t meet for another 17 years. 

I began praying for my future husband in my early teens, and I had no idea he was farming across the street from me. I left for college in Florida, I lived and interned in Washington, DC, I went again for law school (which I tried and hated!). After all that, I came back, and we met. He had never been able to find a wife (thanks again to this small town and too long work hours inherent in farming!). After the second telephone call, I knew that I would marry him, which is not something that a recovering perfectionist like me thinks often. 

Third, because we have fewer opportunities here, I also have fewer distractions, and that means we as a family can focus on what really matters in parenting: the goal of raising saints. What I initially saw as a dearth of opportunities was a temptation to discouragement. But beyond the temptation was an invitation from God, as there always is beyond temptation, to focus on what really matters without the distraction of many good things. (After all, one of the devil’s mottos is: “Anything but God!,” and he often tempts us to the opposite of what God’s will is.) 

So, you see, dear friends, no place is entirely devoid of possibilities. When it seems like your place is the exception, it just means grace has a more incredible opportunity. Remember, it was thought that “not any good” could come from Nazareth, and from Nazareth came the ultimate good — the Christ. 

“Nazareth” is made for flippers — people who are faithful where they are, with what they have, and who expect grace to show up and transform the ordinary into something extraordinary. 

Do you want to be a flipper too? You don’t have to buy an old 1937 home. Take your house — your environment, wherever it is — and work faithfully on the small things with supernatural motivation, and expect grace to show up.

Here are some elements of your mindset that can help (these are taken from various reflections by Fr. Chad Ripperger, applied to a homeschooling mom’s challenges):*

• Be willing to suffer the hidden and unappreciated life as a homeschooling mom. That is part of what homeschooling is: a sacrificial work of love on behalf of the mother to educate a soul — a soul which has never before existed and will exist forever. Others have observed that parents more often aim to raise children for Harvard instead of Heaven. We don’t need more Harvard degrees. We need more sacrificial love. 
•  Suffering was a part of Christ’s life and redemptive work, and it was a significant part of every saint’s life. When we cease to fear to suffer, it loses its power, and the burden becomes lighter. When we embrace suffering as part of God’s will and look beyond it to see what virtues He wants to adorn our souls with, we become powerful channels for His grace. That’s when the desert starts to bloom!
• Recognize that all temptations confronting a homeschooling mom actually reveal a part of God’s will for her, since the devil always tempts us to the opposite of what God wants. Without temptation, we don’t exercise our spiritual muscles to resist vice and choose virtue. If you are discouraged, God is inviting you to grow in faith. If you are tempted to impatience, God is asking you to grow in patience. Anger? God is inviting you to grow in meekness. How beautiful that temptation can show us part of God’s will for us right now! Once you know which virtue is opposite to your primary temptation, read a book on that virtue, memorize scriptures about it, read the lives of great Christians who exemplified that virtue, place something in a major sightline that reminds you of that virtue.
• Recognize that grace builds on nature, so it is important to curate your attitude and environment to be maximally receptive to grace. If you know you need grace in a particular area, set up your environment for cooperation with the grace desired. Use the major site where your eyes rest the most to put a visual reminder of the virtue you’re working toward. Use a timer. Organize things ahead of time. Whatever it is. The environment is a powerful tool to use in your path to personal sanctity. 
• Choose to be emotionally detached from your expectations. Have standards, but do not become emotionally attached to the image in your mind of how things will go. When that doesn’t happen, it will prompt a negative emotion. As I heard Fr. Ripperger explain, attachments are like a rag in a dog’s mouth: once the dog clamps down, you can drag him wherever you want. Be attached only to God, and then rely on grace to work with the messy, broken nature that we all are, without becoming scandalized by just. how. broken. it. is. 

Friends, this brand — homeschoolfliphouse.com — is new. I need your help to spread the word. If you like this post, share it on social media. Our world needs to be reminded of the importance of the home. We can all encourage each other together to discover the joy of cultivating a home atmosphere to educate our children in truth and virtue.

Many of the posts and content I share after this will be practical. But I will also share matters of a homeschooling mom’s heart as they come to me. 

Holy Family of Nazareth, pray for us,

*Many of these concepts are derived from an excellent talk on Youtube by Fr. Chad Ripperger on “The levels of spiritual warfare.”